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What’s this blog about?
This blog is an overstated account of how I (CJ), my spirited toddler (Poppy), and my quirky dashing husband (Walter) tackle family life. Curiously, my most popular posts were about:

a TV sitcom I once watched,


the time my dog went missing.

Except, we don’t have a TV and I can’t make Steppenwolf run away again. So I’m going to stick with the parenting & family theme.

Do you mind?

Why should you read this blog?
You might read this blog because you care about what happens to Walter and Poppy, or you’re amused by tales of hyperbolic parenting, or you feel sorry for me like me, or you subscribed by mistake and don’t know how to get rid of me. There are thousands of bloggers who write about their kids and most do it better than me (like her and her, dammit).

But I ask you: surely the suspense of knowing my dog might run away again pips the excellent content found elsewhere on the internet?

What will this blog give you?
By reading this blog, you will learn nothing about good parenting, healthy marriages or how to complete a tax return. That’s a solid gold guarantee. What you will get is a front row seat on how not to be sensible. In fact, I’m so sure that you’d handle my family better than me that I can say with confidence:

What you get from this blog is self-satisfaction on a silver plate, served directly to your inbox more frequently than you probably need.

For your quickest route to smugness, don’t forget to sign-up for new post alerts.

Spoiled Fruits of Empire? Huh?
You need forget only one banana in your backpack to know that soft fruit doesn’t travel well. Similarly, people without tough peels don’t cross the Atlantic without getting bruised. I moved to the US from England, after having moved to England from Zimbabwe. The toll of all that moving, plus this latest shift to Texas, has left me feeling somewhat, well, moldy. If you want to feel like a banana that ventured too far from home, try saying the word “Zimbabwe” to a Texan. The resultant looks would make you, too, feel that you’d landed too far from the tree.